Attunement

Over the years, as I've aimed to narrow in on what I do and what I have to offer people as a therapist, I've continued to return to the concept of attunement. Though attunement is often discussed within the context oft human growth and development science, referring to the caregiver's ability to read their child's needs and respond accordingly, I would argue that it is a vital ingredient in all human interaction. Attunement is prioritizing the recognition of one's emotional state and choosing to respond with care. It's a chosen response, it's an intentional interaction, and quite honestly, it's work.

As humans, I think we've learned to be bad at this. In everyday living, attunement feels inconvenient. It takes living purposefully, with intentionality, and that's hard. Some might argue, that attunement is also potentially dangerous. It's spending time on someone else and their emotional state. In polarizing times, attunument might mean engaging with someone's feelings that oppose our own. And yet, attunement has so much to offer us and our relationships.

A few years ago, I recall observing an exchange between a grocery store clerk and a customer. The customer hurriedly placed his items at the register, sighing loudly, and pacing back and forth. The clerk looked at the man and offered, "You look like you're in a rush!" The customer responded, "Yeah. 'm running late to pick up my kid." The clerk didn't say anything in response, but immediately turned to expedite the checkout process. He began scanning the man's items and bagging his goods with quick precision. The customer looked at the clerk with slight surprise and relief, his emotional state and his associated needs had been attuned to. This moment showcases everything simple and yet powerful about attunement. It's one human seeing, understanding and responding with empathy to another human.

Many of us are beginning 2025 with a lot of uncertainty. There are questions about how we will cope with various challenges, how we will survive the inevitable trials within our family system as well as on a larger scale as national politics bode buffoonery. It's all so intimidating. Though, I also hold much hope for the way attunement can bring simple moments of connection. This uncertainty grasps us all and it has the potential to bond us. It may even embolden us to verbalize our empathy for each other as we are so often unified in the running late and caught in long grocery store lines.

This is an invitation to join me in some much needed attunement. Let's prioritize recognizing each other in uncertainty, in challenge, in the everyday grind of city-living. Maybe 2025 has some new and much needed connection coming our way.

With warmth, Erin